Episode One: The Seinfeld Chronicles
Plot: Jerry meets a woman while doing a set on the road. She is set to visit New York, but Jerry is unsure if her visit will result in some sort of sexual liason. Jerry and George discuss the woman’s motives ad nauseam. That’s it. This is truly the show about nothing.
WTF?: The theme music is different from what it would ultimately become, and it sucks. Jerry and George engage the waitress at Monk’s in an all-too-familiar way. And it sucks. I’m guessing they intended this waitress to be the sassy female before the Elaine character was brainstormed. Jerry sits Indian-style on a washing machine at the laundromat. Seriously, Indian-style like he’s nine years old. Kramer is famously referred to as “Kessler,” and he sucks. Kessler has a dog. Costanza overacts like he’s doing Hamlet off Broadway. Five solid minutes of the episode are devoted to Jerry’s stand up routine.
Quotable: Jerry to George (impatiently waiting for Jerry to finish his laundry): “Drying is like dying. You can’t over-dry, you can’t over-die.” George to Jerry, commenting on Jerry setting up an extra bed for his house guest: “Why don’t you bring her an extra guy, too?”
Notable: We get a bit of foreshadowing as George mentions that he would be better off doing the opposite of what his instincts tell him.
Verdict: If you’re anything like me, you’ve seen most episodes at least a dozen times by now and do your level best to avoid Season One like the Plague. Thus, it had been awhile since I watched the pilot episode. While not quite as brutal as I remember, I can assure you that this episode will end up in the series’ bottom ten. The only el oh el moment occurs in the Costanza quotable above, and possibly George’s bit at the airport about interpreting greetings. We are all extremely lucky this show survived to a second season and beyond.
Current Episode Rankings
1. The Seinfeld Chronicles